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Keep Your Drama Off The Bus

January 17, 2011


A Detroit bus driver has been suspended for holding a passenger in his lap while driving.

Savor that in your mind. Mull it over.

Do your thoughts go “W… T…F..?”

There are several mildly valid explanations for what’s going on here.

*This is obviously a smear campaign by those who hate public transportation. Obviously, the passenger just stumbled into the driver. Maybe the passenger was drunk, even. Obviously.
*The driver is also a trained EMT, since he works in Murder City, USA. The passenger was having some sort of emergency, and he was only trying to help, while keeping his bus on schedule.
*Because of the weather, the driver’s kid had a snow day. Since he couldn’t find a sitter on such short notice, he had to take the kid to work. Against his better judgment, he thought that holding the kid in his belted lap was safer than letting it slide around on the un-belted public seats.
*The passenger realized that they didn’t have enough money for fare upon boarding. The driver accepted a lap dance in exchange for a free ride.

However, that is driver Timothy Carpenter’s lady friend sitting on his lap. They had been having problems lately. Apparently, he wanted to do double duty and fix his romantic life while keeping his bus going in a straight line.

Back to those bullet points, for a little comparison. Was this against his better judgment? Yes. Is it like a lap dance? Yes. Was the passenger drunk? Maybe. Is the passenger a child? Both people in this video-phoned situation are surely acting like it.

Fact is, Driver Carpenter is an adult with an adult job. Occasionally adults with adult jobs have issues outside of said job. But that’s where adults keep their adult issues: Outside the job. Never mind that a significant other who really cares about you as a successful, self-supporting member of society wouldn’t do anything to ruin your fucking job, you should take the fact that you might be ruing your job when you bring your drama onto the bus.

So, I’d like to introduce an easy-to-remember rule about living in a civilized, adult society. This kinda goes for everyone, actually: Keep your drama off the bus. No one wants to hear it, no one wants to see it, and if you’re a bus driver, you’ll end up on the news for it. It’s best to just close the doors on it and ride off into the sunset.

[Inspiration: MyFoxDetroit]

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